i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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