I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
