who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
