I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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