well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
