how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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