Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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