Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
