the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize