I cockslap morals
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
