she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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