Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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