I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
