soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
