What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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