I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
