I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
