The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You dont lie about slip and slides
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
