The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
