You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
