it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
