I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
