We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
