He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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