Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
