Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
