I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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