I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
