It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Let's get the cat blown out
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
