Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He? As in you personified your dick?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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