new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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