We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
