everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
