yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
