he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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