Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
