Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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