If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
