She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
