i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
