wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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