brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
