We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
