i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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