I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
