walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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