The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
