Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Panties = found
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
