can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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