call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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