But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
