Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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