Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
