I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
