Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dignity is for republicans.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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