In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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