Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
