Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
