Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
