and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
