I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
