I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
