Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
