I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
