I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i believe in u and ur pee
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize