i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
