i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
