Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
