can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
