talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
