very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
